As fast as we can process your paper work (after you pay the modest admission fee), we will forward your diploma and summarily verify that you are a legitimate graduate of Darrtown University.


Special Promotion: During our first decade of operation, Darrtown University is offering an "early-bird, blue-light" special that combines the price of admission with the price of a diploma.


This unique opportunity enables you to purchase a diploma before being admitted to the school.


Details available at the Book Store.

Imagine the thrill of "turning the tassel," as you participate in the graduation ceremonies, while proudly wearing the comfortable, yet stylish, one-size-fits-all, Darrtown University graduation cap!



Due to safety concerns, OSHA standards, and a desire to avoid litigious actions against Darrtown University, graduation protocol prohibits Darrtown University graduates from wearing the traditional, and somewhat arcane, graduation garb (cap and gown).

Specifically, the traditional graduation garb is banned for two really good reasons:

1. The traditional graduation "cap" could put out someone's eye, if tossed into the air (and we all know that..."what goes up, must come down"). Additionally the question arises: how can the traditional graduation "cap" be an actual cap, when it has a flat top and doesn't even have a bill or a logo?

2. The traditional (and excessively voluminous) gown often entices miscreants to engage in illegal activities.

With the exception of the real/tangible Book Store products, every other aspect of this website is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the web master's imagination and used fictitiously. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual businesses, organizations, and/or events is entirely coincidental.