FACULTY
Really? You actually believe that university professors are "full-time"? Ha! We, at Darrtown University, are realists; so, please...move on.
FULL-TIME FACULTY
PART-TIME FACULTY
All our professors are part-time. The list of our part-time faculty is being compiled by our crack staff. Note: in this instance, the term "crack" is used as an adjective, not a noun.
The dictionary defines "adjunct" as being: "subordinate, auxiliary, assistant; temporary, provisional." In other words, these are the worker-bees. We will ask each of these individuals to submit a resume, in triplicate, within the hour, so that we may create a directory, which will be filed...sometime...in a location to be determined.
ADJUNCT FACULTY
Faculty Positions are Available
Requirements: Applicants must have a college degree
Note: In the finest tradition of university protocol, we take care of our own. Therefore, if you hold a degree from Darrtown University, we will find a position for you that is commensurate with your qualifications. If your qualifications supersede our needs, we will endeavor to help you adjust to our more relaxed expectations.